Double Edged Ambition

Procrastinating on a task that you hate by working on another task that you hate is an effective way of getting things done. However, when it is overused, it can have the unfortunate side effect of making you miserable.
Unfortunately for me, I have an obsessive one-track tenancies that become exaggerated when I feel out of sorts. If you knew me during certain years of college you may remember when all I talked about was the martial arts. I am that way. I think a lot of people are. It mostly serves me well. Sometimes it doesn't.
There are two big obstacles in my life that are bothering me right now. One: the unfinished state of the house. Two: my lack of money-making employment.
In both cases there are actions I can take to clamber over the aforementioned obstacles. In both cases it's challenging and frustrating.

One
I don't feel like I have an natural aptitude for construction/home renovation work. Maybe nobody does. I can learn it and I am. I guess that's all there is to it. Unfortunately, I can't help comparing myself to Andrew, who, whether due to natural talent or merely years of experience, is exceptionally competent. I can't say I really expect myself to ever quite keep up with him in this area, but I strive to come close. In my own opinion, I am not learning fast enough.
I have a healthy dose competitiveness infused deeply into my nature. It drives me. I struggle to outdo myself; I struggle to outdo others. Healthy? Maybe not since it has me feeling bad about myself.   Drive and ambition  are mostly a good things, every attribute has it dark side.

Two
The job thing is a "soul crush." I'm not along. So many people my age have felt this or are feeling it. We work hard. We struggle through school. We apply to the jobs. We get rejected over and over and over. Sometimes we get rejected before we even start the application. "Ah, an entry level job in my field...oh, they want ten years of experience." It's rough, but here are some words that I find darkly comforting. I read them on the blog of an acquaintance. She was about my age meaning 30ish with some serious relationships and life experience under her belt. She said that the soul crushing pain of the fruitless job search was the worst she had ever been through. She said no boy trouble came close.

I remember reading that with mixed pity and revulsion. Those are the words of a person who has never truly been in love. She'd had the chance, too.
"no boy trouble came close." I think of those words now, and I think to myself, "well, at least I'm not like that!"
If those are the words of a strong or empowered human being then count me out. I don't want to be that kind of strong, and I'm sorry if I ever tried. "Boy trouble," at its worst, is the experience of losing someone that you love deeply. That should hurt. It should hurt like hell.
No matter how hard the job search gets or how many times my applications get rejected, the heartbreak of losing somebody I love will always trump the dull discouragement of another rejected cover letter.
I have lost people that I loved, to death and to the necessary parting of ways that follows the bitter end of a relationship. Job related rejections may hurt my pride but they won't break my heart. I love my people far, far more than I love my employment status.
So there they are, my words of dark and petty comfort; "At least I'm not like that."