Sunset at Cannon Beach

 

 Sarah and Joe

Mom and Dad

Random Couples watching the sunset. I think the guy and his dog get the prize for cutest couple

Dizzy Blue

It's post finals let down finally having a chance to settle in. Only this time it's compounded with post moving let down. I feel dizzy and directionless. I'm calling it emotional vertigo. I don't know where I belong in the flow of things. Which way is up?
As a result, I've been feeling down. Depressed. You know that fog that gets into you brain and makes even your own thoughts and memories dim. It's harder to do everything. Tonight I wished that I had a fun group of friends that I could just get drunk with and laugh until the clouds blow away and all that's left is a mild hangover. Unfortunately none of my friends are here in town (Portland) as far as I know. I was feeling blue and perusing facebook. Seeing all the cool things other people were doing and wallowing in the gloomy confusion of my own lack of motivation at the moment.
Then I looked at my own photos. I look really happy in so many of them. Especially our wedding photos, Andrew. Now I'm smiling. Life is good again. I have a good life. I just need to live it. We must go backpacking this summer.

Seattle

Moving is hard. We're here but I don't feel like I belong. I seem to think that I am waiting for something. For what I don't know. It's time to stop waiting.

Taking It Easy

Taking it easy isn't easy when you want to be packing up your house. Not surprisingly, I've strained my back with all the leaning at awkward angles and lifting heavy stuff that I've been doing. So now I need to lay off and stop lifting stuff and leaning over for a bit if I want to stop aggravating it. That's harder than it seems. The house it half packed and I want so badly to make it all packed that I can barely resist leaning over and lifting stuff.
For the moment I am resisting, but I am tired of reading the novel that has been helping me rest. I don't feel like writing in my story. Whine, whine. Sigh.
I could, of course, apply to some jobs. Go for a long walk? I've been laying around a bunch this afternoon being to lazy to cook any kind of real meal eating a bagel then some trail mix when the rumbling in my tummy distracted me too much from the imaginary world that I am engrossed in. I hate it when I do that. I know better...
Pause. Go make some food.
I have eaten a nice bowl of black beans and Yumm sauce now.  So I've wised up enough to stop being hungry but I don't want to sleep. I'm not really writing much of a blog entry am I? No I'm more just talking to myself.
What to do... what to do...

So Much For Resolutions

Since I last wrote in this blog I have been on one moderately long walk and this is the first thing that I have written. Andrew and I have been in the business of fixing up our parents houses. We spend Saturday afternoon and Sunday working on my parents house. Monday we drove to Cave Junction and worked Monday and Tuesday on Andrew's Mom's house. We accomplished much and we both ache. Yesterday was a day of sleeping with a little laundry. Today was a day of cleaning. Liqueur store boxes have been procured and filled with books...

I should probably have a beer. Alcohol helps with muscle aches for me. It makes me all noodley and relaxed, which seems to speed my recovery. It also my help me resist my compulsive urge to keep working when I really should rest, but I don't really want a beer. I want something like a mixed drink. Wait a second. We have rum and slightly flat coke. Haha! It's my lucky day. 

Rum and Coke down the hatch. Yum, yum. Now I want to eat everything. Hmmm... scrounge, scrounge...  munch crunch. Moving out in ten days. Better eat this up so we don't have to pack it. What a helpful Jenny I am. 

Back From The Dead

So it's been a month and a half since I wrote in this. Andrew didn't get that job. The company waffled a bunch and the decided "they wanted to keep looking." I don't know what their deal was. If they are going to be like that, I'm honestly glad they didn't offer Andrew the Job. Plus this way he got to stay with me.
I'm done with school. Assuming I passed my classes, I'm done with Corvallis. I'm done with Corvallis even if I didn't pass my classes. I'm done. The last few weeks were so hard. I'm done. done. done.
All the other students are done too. It's like the the the town has started breathing again. The pinched expressions and choked back tears have been washed away leaving relief.  People are moving out of town, going home. They are happy. I feel like a person who has just recovered from a fever. I have the giddy  freedom feeling. I hardly know what to do with it.

Now I can do all those things that I have been telling myself I will do when school is over. Now what were they? I have a moment of blank. Then they all come flooding in overwhelming me.

1.I will start writing again. I will either write in this blog of write in my story five out of every seven days.

2. I will get in shape. I want to walk five miles a day or do something equivalent maybe I should make that five days a week.

3. Apply to jobs. Yuck.

4. Pack the house.

5. Do the laundry.

6. Go backpacking

7. Sell some things on craigslist.

8. Go see a movie

9.

Andrew's Interview

Sitting here in a Starbucks in Everett, Washington (North of Seattle) waiting for Andrew to finish his final interview with this company. He might know by the end of the day if he has the job. It's hard to focus on school work. He might be done in half an hour or he might be done in an hour and a half. I'm jittery. We applied to an apartment this morning. It's beautiful, top floor lots of light less than 10 years old. I go so far as to call it posh.
Andrew will know by tomorrow if he has the job. It seems really likely. He already had and hour long phone interview. This is supposed to be like one last final check to see if his skills match his resume. They're going to have him design something in solidworks and he's the only one they're interviewing at this point. At least that's my impression... but people lie. They can mis-communicate. I think I'm more nervous than Andrew. His interview is supposed to be 2 to 3 hours long. Here's what Andrew said to me this about ten minutes before he drove off to go to the interview.
I was fussing with his shirt. He shoed me away from my fussing, leaned back in his chair and stretched. I must say he looked spiffy in his gray suite. "Do you know how I deal with anxiety?" he asked grinning.
"How?" I asked.
"I don't worry."
harr harr.... but true. That's the best way to deal if you can.